For those of you that have never visited our lovely island paradise, you have no idea of the insane amounts of chickens that inhabit this place. I estimate the chicken population to be nine chickens for every one person on the island. And these aren’t your average run of the mill chickens – these chickens are retarded as all hell! They cock a doodle doo at all hours of the night and after years of inbreeding have developed some interesting colors, not to mention growths. They have developed an insatiable taste for West Bay crack cocaine and Jamaica’s prized jerked pork (you didn’t think I’d say jerked chicken…?) Just as Bush has made it his goal to irradicate everyone who doesn’t have email or does not want a democracy, so too have the good people here on the island with the chickens….Just this morning I ran across this advert in the newspaper employment section”

*** sadly my application was rejected because I am not too good with a sling shot***

For those of you who may think I may be exaggerating, I took this picture today. It is directly outside the front door of my office…

That I still love you…

My dog has a severe dislike for the shower to the point that she doesn’t trust one ounce of me when I get near her and the bathroom. You can see the fear build up in her eyes as I approach her and let her know that her mangy stink ass is getting thrown in the shower. Typically she resorts to primal instincts of hiding in various places; under the bed, in her kennel, under the blankets…you get the idea. I thought I’d share a glimpse of her love of the shower with these two photos:

***Notice the “I’m an abused poor doggy look” – she has mastered this***

***Usually a ham for the camera, the shower has a powerful way of knocking Manna down***

I scored! I know what your thinking, and it’s true – I DID SCORE! Vonnie left yesterday and made me sad, but quickly cheered me up with some lesbian pics. I posted the ones that are appropriate and saved the durty ones for my pay site…

***Vonnie is trying to tell us something…?***

***This was a good night for all involved***

***Yeah – exactly, we all know where this one led too…***

P.S. Vonnie is no longer a physical threat to me as she lives 7000 miles away, so I am now free to destroy her reputation – YAW!

What a fun time back in Omaha. I have spent the better part of today thoroughly hung over from extreme partying at the clubs last night, but more importantly, I have been watching some great college baseball on ESPN. My mom has called me everyday telling me what games she has been to and Fat Matt even gave me a voice mail today. He’s up in Omaha from the islands for the week to watch the games and his voice mail had this excerpt:

“Hey dipshit, it’s about 4pm and I’m layin here by the sand at the volleyball courts. Had about thirty beers, went to the casinos and paid their electric bill, but MATTERS! I’m fuckin wasted – LATER SUCKER!”

Oh yeah – heres the latest fun project – FREAKIN FUNNY STUFF“>FREAKIN FUNNY STUFF
Back to laying here on my couch….later